Holy crap the "Mommy can I... " or "Mommy... " seven hundred times before I finish my coffee is killing me.
I am officially re-naming myself Your Majesty, though I may to figure out how to incorporate Most amazing mother of ever in there too...
Ok not really though it would be funny to have them wandering around saying your majesty
What I really don't get though is that they are running around inside, ok fine out doors we go. We aren't out of the literal door but for 36 seconds and they are turning around and coming out "Mommy can I have a fruit roll up? Mommy can I have some juice? Mommy can I have some rice? Mommy can I... "
Like seriously we just made it out the door and now all the sudden you're starving and need to go back in to eat?
So after 72 trips in and out of the house to get snacks I now find Tori standing at the microwave burning rice... she didn't read any directions and thus there was no water added...
Burning bowl of grain vacated to the front porch, new bowl with water added is cooking.
William literally just finished eating a yogurt after his half of a fruit roll up and is now looking for more in the fridge, in the cabinet, trying to take what his sister has. Holy empty leg bat man, you did eat breakfast so where pray tel are you storing these various snacks?
Don't get me wrong, if your hungry please eat but could we possibly use some level of control and focus to eat and then be done with ravaging my kitchen and or asking me to provide you with new sustenance every 30 seconds? Also can we maybe try to eat real food instead of the variety of prepackaged ready to eat things that need to be purchased to make sure there is a transportable lunch for camp during the week?
Oh and did I mention that I hate having the kitchen be the hang out spot. William in particular is really bad at this. He goes in the get one snack and then just stands there eating while he decides on the next food item to enjoy. Again this wouldn't be an issue except for the incessant "Mommy...?" coming from said kitchen as well as the fact that he has the attention span of a gnat and so while he walked in with intention to get an apple out of the fridge, now I hear the dirty bowl in the sink getting filled with water, of course that also means my counters are getting impromptu cleaned because he has successfully sprayed water all over. Or the utility drawer is opened, and yes I know I'm the worst ever because there are sharp things within reach of children, but guess what, he's been told 10000000000000000000000 times not to go in that drawer and there is 100% never any purpose for him to be in that drawer. So back to that lack of attention, now the cabinet door is open.
OMG William what are you doing??? "I wanted a snack" Yes I know this but that was 7 minutes ago, get your snack and go sit at the table.
So now Your Majesty id going to sit on the cough and maybe finish her cold coffee and if she's really lucky get through one whole page in her book with out intentionally being interrupted, and or having to interject because they can't go 5 minutes with out needing to be separated/told to stop arguing, reminded that we are in fact inside now so inside volume is appropriate, or that grabbing things from each other isn't ok, we use manners and ask nicely for things.
Mommy has officially checked out, you can now address me as Your Majesty and her reign will be supreme and you will follow directions or you will suffer the wrath!!!
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