Lack of feeling

I have a problem... my capacity for empathy sucks the big one, when it comes to my kids, but I don't see it as an issue...

Of course immediately that sounds really terrible and like I don't care about their feelings, or understand them as kids. All of which is un-true. However I really suck at believing them when they claim to be sick, mainly because I'm good at recognizing when there is true illness vs a passing thing or them making something up to get attention. More so I think it's not that I truly don't believe them, but I don't know how to make them feel better without also feeling like I am catering to excessive over sensitivity that our society has allowed in recent years.

For example, my kids fall on the playground;

"you're fine just brush it off and keep going"
-in this circumstance usually no big deal
- every once in a while there is a parent that notices and does the forsaken "Oh my goodness are you OK sweetie??"  followed by crocodile tears and blabbering etc.
- I have no tolerance for that non-sense. I remember when I was 6 my parents got me a two wheel bike and I was doing ok until I fell and didn't scrape my knee or bump my elbow, I fell flat on my back and got the wind knocked out of me. I then chose not to try to ride said bike for a while but otherwise it was deemed I wasn't dead or dying and I could move on.

I mean seriously how am I supposed to teach my kids that you will fall and you will get hurt if every time they get a "boo boo" it turns into the freaking opera of wailing and coddling.

Example number two;

We have determined that my daughter has my stomach, not a good thing for her. So if she eats too much, get overheated and less than adequately hydrated, vomit happens. I'm ok with it, I get it. Something are better out than in.

-5th grade I had eaten two huge pieces of school lunch pizza, as well as getting one of those super awesome chocolate milk bags where it was really two bags stuck together because they didn't get split properly in production. I ate and drank it all; it was also hot.
-vomit in the water fountain in the hallway;
               kudos to myself by the way for not making a mess all over the floor, and then I was fine.

Of course the nurse wanted to send me home and I was trying my damnedest to convince them I was fine, eventually I won and was able to finish out the day.

Now it's go home and don't come back for 24 hours.


Yesterday little miss was a shining example of this issue.
She hadn't had enough water while she was at camp for the day and so indigestion was making her nauseous. She came home and had something to eat, hoping if we could get a little something and some water in her we could keep things moving in the right direction.
-it backfired, literally

 But for the remainder of the night she seemed ok, other than the occasional complain that she was still uncomfortable.

This morning everything seemed fine, she even said she felt better, ate breakfast and was excited to go on the field trip to the state park. So off we all go to our respective daytime places.


I work about 30 miles from home, am making the last of three turns before getting to the office and the phone rings... it's camp, she tossed it about 5 minutes ago and camp policy is she has to go home.

Ok fine I've tried explaining to people before that she has an 'interesting' stomach but to no avail.

Downside, I am about an hour from being able to get to her and her dad is stuck at work still as well.

Yay, grandma to the rescue!!

Downside, I feel like I should go get her, that there might actually be something going on, make arrangements to be able to get out of work to go get her, I get there and then I have crying child because I picked her up from being able to hang out with grandma...

Now normally my theory of ok it's no big deal she'll be fine would have paid off. I would have left her with grandma and been able to finish my day at work, realistically everything would have worked out.

But I keep getting reminded that my lack of understanding when the kids are sick is such a short coming that I feel obligated to go get her and check on her, make sure there isn't some sort of actual bug going on for her, there isn't a bigger issue.

Epic fail...

So now I am left pondering is my lack of feeling really a problem? Was is just appropriate this time? How do I help others to understand when it's ok to panic and when???  I know my kids and I know they aren't really sick.

Ugh ok, I guess that this was more of a rant to try to make myself feel better about not being the first one to jump when a kid says so. I don't think it worked, I mostly just feel like I'm glad that she is getting some likely much need rest on the couch next to me while I try to meddle through the chaos that is my mom brain at the moment...