Well you would have thought I was trying to start WWIII at the table tonight.
Tori has homework, which includes reviewing her spelling and a few vocab words the class has been getting tripped up on.
Matt tackles most of the spelling until we get to "taking"
'No it's talking dad'
'No on your list that you wrote it says taking'
'No I know the word is supposed to be talking, how is it spelled?'
Me: 'Tori we can't tell you how it's spelled that defeats the purpose of the practice for your test tomorrow'
'But it's talking just how is it spelled and then I'll know what word it is'
The words are also typed in a list by the teacher as well as hand written in her day planner. Matt and I both confirm for her that all 3 lists agree the word is taking.
'But if you don't just...
"No Tori just spell the word taking, that's the word, spell taking.'
Finally she writes down taking on her paper.
Few more words and said list is done, the only oops being equipped which likely only had one p or a t instead of a d. No biggie.
I have an e-mail from the teacher that lays out 4 vocab words they are struggling with; ponder, conquer, resistance, anticipation.
She accurately details ponder, conquer takes a second because she tries to use conquer in her answer and it takes a minute to understand that you can't use the word in the definition.
'Resistance'
'Like when you are stopping from eating tacos even though you really want them.'
'No that's resisting, you are showing resistance but that's not actually a good definition or example of resistance because your are resisting eating the tacos.'
'No that's what my teacher said, that's what we wrote down. That's resistance.'
I have to actually think for a second here about how to come up with two more appropriate examples to demonstrate the action of resisting vs. the description of resistance.
'Well resistance is like when I try to turn the wrench on the bolt but it won't move, there is resistance making it so I can't turn the wrench. Or when the chair won't slide nicely across the floor there is resistance making it so it won't slide smoothly. If I am showing resistance then I am actively resisting. Like right now your are resisting that you are wrong, or you not eating the tacos is resisting eating the tacos.'
'No Mrs. Martz told us that, so that's what we wrote down, your wrong'
'No your teacher is wrong, I will look it up to show you.' Look it up on webster.com, read the definition for her. 'See so resistance is a little different than resisting, so if that's what you wrote down, it's wrong.'
'Mrs Martz is a teacher, she isn't wrong' cue water works
'Well Tori I just proved it to you, she is wrong'
'She went to college, she's smarter.'
'I went to college too, I know what resistance is. I read you the definition.'
'I'll prove it to you that's what we wrote down and you're wrong, Mrs. Martz can't be wrong.'
stomping, crying screaming all the while
Now I'm mad because she won't stop arguing. 'Ok what ever go to bed.'
'Why doesn't William have to go to bed?'
"GO TO BED!'
crying, screaming something less than intelligible about how I'm wrong and she's not arguing she stomps up the stairs.
Like seriously when did I become the village idiot? I know she's a teacher, but I happen to be a well educated individual as well, and no I'm not f***ing wrong! But apparently telling her that her teacher was wrong was about the stupidest thing that could have ever come out of my face...
Who knew...
I've also been wrong for telling her that her having a dresser full of clothes means she has to be able to find something to wear, I don't care if it's what she wants to wear, she's 8 get dressed. Which ranks next to the fact that she is a kid so she needs to be in kid conversations but needs to leave adult conversations to adults. Add it to that screaming match from two weeks ago about how I can't do whatever I want just because I'm a parent. And sprinkle a little being the meanest mom because I won't always answer her questions, because oh yea, she's 8 and doesn't need to know everything.
So now I'll just sit here and vent to the digital world about my glaring inadequacy as a mom/parent/adult because once again I made a grievous mistake by telling her not only that she was wrong, but also ... her teacher was wrong.
So stupid!!
How many more years of verbal torture and mental gymnastics did I sign up for???
Thursday, September 8, 2016
Saturday, August 13, 2016
I'm giving myself a new name
Holy crap the "Mommy can I... " or "Mommy... " seven hundred times before I finish my coffee is killing me.
I am officially re-naming myself Your Majesty, though I may to figure out how to incorporate Most amazing mother of ever in there too...
Ok not really though it would be funny to have them wandering around saying your majesty
What I really don't get though is that they are running around inside, ok fine out doors we go. We aren't out of the literal door but for 36 seconds and they are turning around and coming out "Mommy can I have a fruit roll up? Mommy can I have some juice? Mommy can I have some rice? Mommy can I... "
Like seriously we just made it out the door and now all the sudden you're starving and need to go back in to eat?
So after 72 trips in and out of the house to get snacks I now find Tori standing at the microwave burning rice... she didn't read any directions and thus there was no water added...
Burning bowl of grain vacated to the front porch, new bowl with water added is cooking.
William literally just finished eating a yogurt after his half of a fruit roll up and is now looking for more in the fridge, in the cabinet, trying to take what his sister has. Holy empty leg bat man, you did eat breakfast so where pray tel are you storing these various snacks?
Don't get me wrong, if your hungry please eat but could we possibly use some level of control and focus to eat and then be done with ravaging my kitchen and or asking me to provide you with new sustenance every 30 seconds? Also can we maybe try to eat real food instead of the variety of prepackaged ready to eat things that need to be purchased to make sure there is a transportable lunch for camp during the week?
Oh and did I mention that I hate having the kitchen be the hang out spot. William in particular is really bad at this. He goes in the get one snack and then just stands there eating while he decides on the next food item to enjoy. Again this wouldn't be an issue except for the incessant "Mommy...?" coming from said kitchen as well as the fact that he has the attention span of a gnat and so while he walked in with intention to get an apple out of the fridge, now I hear the dirty bowl in the sink getting filled with water, of course that also means my counters are getting impromptu cleaned because he has successfully sprayed water all over. Or the utility drawer is opened, and yes I know I'm the worst ever because there are sharp things within reach of children, but guess what, he's been told 10000000000000000000000 times not to go in that drawer and there is 100% never any purpose for him to be in that drawer. So back to that lack of attention, now the cabinet door is open.
OMG William what are you doing??? "I wanted a snack" Yes I know this but that was 7 minutes ago, get your snack and go sit at the table.
So now Your Majesty id going to sit on the cough and maybe finish her cold coffee and if she's really lucky get through one whole page in her book with out intentionally being interrupted, and or having to interject because they can't go 5 minutes with out needing to be separated/told to stop arguing, reminded that we are in fact inside now so inside volume is appropriate, or that grabbing things from each other isn't ok, we use manners and ask nicely for things.
Mommy has officially checked out, you can now address me as Your Majesty and her reign will be supreme and you will follow directions or you will suffer the wrath!!!
I am officially re-naming myself Your Majesty, though I may to figure out how to incorporate Most amazing mother of ever in there too...
Ok not really though it would be funny to have them wandering around saying your majesty
What I really don't get though is that they are running around inside, ok fine out doors we go. We aren't out of the literal door but for 36 seconds and they are turning around and coming out "Mommy can I have a fruit roll up? Mommy can I have some juice? Mommy can I have some rice? Mommy can I... "
Like seriously we just made it out the door and now all the sudden you're starving and need to go back in to eat?
So after 72 trips in and out of the house to get snacks I now find Tori standing at the microwave burning rice... she didn't read any directions and thus there was no water added...
Burning bowl of grain vacated to the front porch, new bowl with water added is cooking.
William literally just finished eating a yogurt after his half of a fruit roll up and is now looking for more in the fridge, in the cabinet, trying to take what his sister has. Holy empty leg bat man, you did eat breakfast so where pray tel are you storing these various snacks?
Don't get me wrong, if your hungry please eat but could we possibly use some level of control and focus to eat and then be done with ravaging my kitchen and or asking me to provide you with new sustenance every 30 seconds? Also can we maybe try to eat real food instead of the variety of prepackaged ready to eat things that need to be purchased to make sure there is a transportable lunch for camp during the week?
Oh and did I mention that I hate having the kitchen be the hang out spot. William in particular is really bad at this. He goes in the get one snack and then just stands there eating while he decides on the next food item to enjoy. Again this wouldn't be an issue except for the incessant "Mommy...?" coming from said kitchen as well as the fact that he has the attention span of a gnat and so while he walked in with intention to get an apple out of the fridge, now I hear the dirty bowl in the sink getting filled with water, of course that also means my counters are getting impromptu cleaned because he has successfully sprayed water all over. Or the utility drawer is opened, and yes I know I'm the worst ever because there are sharp things within reach of children, but guess what, he's been told 10000000000000000000000 times not to go in that drawer and there is 100% never any purpose for him to be in that drawer. So back to that lack of attention, now the cabinet door is open.
OMG William what are you doing??? "I wanted a snack" Yes I know this but that was 7 minutes ago, get your snack and go sit at the table.
So now Your Majesty id going to sit on the cough and maybe finish her cold coffee and if she's really lucky get through one whole page in her book with out intentionally being interrupted, and or having to interject because they can't go 5 minutes with out needing to be separated/told to stop arguing, reminded that we are in fact inside now so inside volume is appropriate, or that grabbing things from each other isn't ok, we use manners and ask nicely for things.
Mommy has officially checked out, you can now address me as Your Majesty and her reign will be supreme and you will follow directions or you will suffer the wrath!!!
Wednesday, August 10, 2016
Thank you justice
So not really sure who per se I should really be thanking but first I feel as though I owe myself some kudos.
Secondly I would like to thank Cranberry Magisterial Judge Kovach for helping me to fight the right fight today.
Ok quick re-cap for those that may not know...
In May I had to go to Costco for work, basic monthly supplies.
When I got there, there was a vehicle parked near the door of the store with the window down ~9" with a little white/tan dog hanging his very cute little head out of the window.
Now anyone who knows me knows that my capacity to walk by such things is nominal. But I restrained my self, asked the two young men working how long the vehicle had been parked there, neither was sure but both commented that they had tried to give the dog water.
I make a mental note of said situation; trips to Costco aren't usually brief but hey I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for right now.
I do my shopping, I come out, dog, still in truck, still now owning humans. Couple people stop as I stop with my cart next to the dog commenting that the police had been called and or that they would take the dog. Various comments along the lines of people like that don't deserve to have dogs, etc. Typical melodramatic non-sense.
I take my cart to my truck, empty my belongings, and am then sitting in my front seet feeling very verklempt about the whole thing.
I work in veterinary medicine, I can't just walk by and do nothing... I look at the mirror, 75 degrees, and it is very sunny.
I pull my truck up next to the dog vehicle, make sure he still seems ok; he's hot but he's managing. Go into the store to try to get an announcement made, Costco has no PA system.
Now I stand there next to the dog trying to keep an eye on timing. According to the AVMA on a sunny day 75 ambient temp equates to about 110 after 30 min and I know it's at least been that long.
Still no police. I call the animal hospital listed on the pet's rabies tag, number not in service. Well now we're pushing 40 min and likely 115 degrees. So the window is down far enough I am able to get the dog without hurting him or the vehicle, set him in my truck with the A/C running and a bowl of water on the floor. After a few more minutes we try to find said owner in the store but I can't really go about the store walking a dog.
So we go back out and I finally decide I need to get back to work. If I leave the dog's leash on the mirror someone may take him, and I don't want the person to come out and not have their dog anymore, so I go back inside, leave a note with customer service as to the clinic I work for and my number so the individual can retrieve said pet; I leave an identical note on the driver seat of the vehicle.
Off to the clinic we go, he's finally cooled off a bit and no longer panting like mad. I feel a little better.
Back to work. Call the county and get a phone number via the licence on the collar, no answer, leave a message. Pup then relaxes in a kennel until the police call, guy is at the local station looking for his dog. Ok no big deal, I'm happy to bring him back, just didn't want him to end up dying from being to hot.
Guy is pissed when I get there, cursing at me about how I should have minded my own f***ing business and the dog had water he was fine. I try to calmly explain I was just worried and animal health care is what I do, just trying to look out, sorry if I caused any offense. Glowering looks, more cursing and then he wanders out grumbling about how I am going to get what's coming.
The officer then proceeds to explain while morally and ethically he understands, that legally what I did what wrong. I should have waited for the police. I apologize and explain I was just trying to look out for the welfare of the dog.
He reads some legislation about taking people's property, essentially accusing me of theft, and says he's not sure what is going to come of all this. He has my name and info, he'll be in touch if I'm going to be arrested.
WAIT WHAAT!!! says the voice in my head, but I smile and nod and go about the rest of my day.
Few weeks go by and, nothing. Ok fine they determined what I did while maybe not the best route wasn't whole wrong.
WRONG
I get a citation in the mail saying I'm being charged with disorderly conduct for causing the person unwarranted grief because his pet was removed from his vehicle.
Well I immediately fill that out not guilty and send it back along with what I believe was a very well written letter to the magistrate regarding the incident and supporting my position in the situation, week or so later my summons for court arrives...
Well needless to say today was court day. Ironically the officer who sent me the citation had to be sent off for additional training and was unavailable. So they ask if I want a continuance or if I would like to talk to the judge.
I'll talk thanks, I want this over with.
I have all my supporting documents previously mailed as well as legislation I found that was passed in September of 2015 regarding leaving animals in vehicles unattended and what citizens can do, and an article published in September of 2015 from the Animal League Defense Fund that more clearly dives into what a "hot car" is and who and what constitutes removing an animal from a harmful environment.
Fortunately the Judge was willing to see myself and one other individual. Calls my name, looks at the papers... Disorderly conduct is something officers use commonly as a catch all when they aren't really sure what if any charges can be brought forward. That in mind I am considering this case dismissed on basis of improperly filed paperwork... was the jist of the conversation.
I appropriately thank him for his time and back to work I go. Feeling not only relieved that the whole thing is over, but also satisfied that where I though no good deed would go unpunished; sure the non-sense to get to the end could be considered punishment, in the end I was able to show someone that I had done what was right by that creature and I didn't deserve to be penalized for that.
So back to the beginning, thank you Judge for serving justice today, even more so giving me a few more shreds of hope for humanity.
Oh and to my comment about my compilation of information, the judge did say that he read everything I sent, so I feel better about having taken the time.
After all the worst he could do was say no right?
Secondly I would like to thank Cranberry Magisterial Judge Kovach for helping me to fight the right fight today.
Ok quick re-cap for those that may not know...
In May I had to go to Costco for work, basic monthly supplies.
When I got there, there was a vehicle parked near the door of the store with the window down ~9" with a little white/tan dog hanging his very cute little head out of the window.
Now anyone who knows me knows that my capacity to walk by such things is nominal. But I restrained my self, asked the two young men working how long the vehicle had been parked there, neither was sure but both commented that they had tried to give the dog water.
I make a mental note of said situation; trips to Costco aren't usually brief but hey I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for right now.
I do my shopping, I come out, dog, still in truck, still now owning humans. Couple people stop as I stop with my cart next to the dog commenting that the police had been called and or that they would take the dog. Various comments along the lines of people like that don't deserve to have dogs, etc. Typical melodramatic non-sense.
I take my cart to my truck, empty my belongings, and am then sitting in my front seet feeling very verklempt about the whole thing.
I work in veterinary medicine, I can't just walk by and do nothing... I look at the mirror, 75 degrees, and it is very sunny.
I pull my truck up next to the dog vehicle, make sure he still seems ok; he's hot but he's managing. Go into the store to try to get an announcement made, Costco has no PA system.
Now I stand there next to the dog trying to keep an eye on timing. According to the AVMA on a sunny day 75 ambient temp equates to about 110 after 30 min and I know it's at least been that long.
Still no police. I call the animal hospital listed on the pet's rabies tag, number not in service. Well now we're pushing 40 min and likely 115 degrees. So the window is down far enough I am able to get the dog without hurting him or the vehicle, set him in my truck with the A/C running and a bowl of water on the floor. After a few more minutes we try to find said owner in the store but I can't really go about the store walking a dog.
So we go back out and I finally decide I need to get back to work. If I leave the dog's leash on the mirror someone may take him, and I don't want the person to come out and not have their dog anymore, so I go back inside, leave a note with customer service as to the clinic I work for and my number so the individual can retrieve said pet; I leave an identical note on the driver seat of the vehicle.
Off to the clinic we go, he's finally cooled off a bit and no longer panting like mad. I feel a little better.
Back to work. Call the county and get a phone number via the licence on the collar, no answer, leave a message. Pup then relaxes in a kennel until the police call, guy is at the local station looking for his dog. Ok no big deal, I'm happy to bring him back, just didn't want him to end up dying from being to hot.
Guy is pissed when I get there, cursing at me about how I should have minded my own f***ing business and the dog had water he was fine. I try to calmly explain I was just worried and animal health care is what I do, just trying to look out, sorry if I caused any offense. Glowering looks, more cursing and then he wanders out grumbling about how I am going to get what's coming.
The officer then proceeds to explain while morally and ethically he understands, that legally what I did what wrong. I should have waited for the police. I apologize and explain I was just trying to look out for the welfare of the dog.
He reads some legislation about taking people's property, essentially accusing me of theft, and says he's not sure what is going to come of all this. He has my name and info, he'll be in touch if I'm going to be arrested.
WAIT WHAAT!!! says the voice in my head, but I smile and nod and go about the rest of my day.
Few weeks go by and, nothing. Ok fine they determined what I did while maybe not the best route wasn't whole wrong.
WRONG
I get a citation in the mail saying I'm being charged with disorderly conduct for causing the person unwarranted grief because his pet was removed from his vehicle.
Well I immediately fill that out not guilty and send it back along with what I believe was a very well written letter to the magistrate regarding the incident and supporting my position in the situation, week or so later my summons for court arrives...
Well needless to say today was court day. Ironically the officer who sent me the citation had to be sent off for additional training and was unavailable. So they ask if I want a continuance or if I would like to talk to the judge.
I'll talk thanks, I want this over with.
I have all my supporting documents previously mailed as well as legislation I found that was passed in September of 2015 regarding leaving animals in vehicles unattended and what citizens can do, and an article published in September of 2015 from the Animal League Defense Fund that more clearly dives into what a "hot car" is and who and what constitutes removing an animal from a harmful environment.
Fortunately the Judge was willing to see myself and one other individual. Calls my name, looks at the papers... Disorderly conduct is something officers use commonly as a catch all when they aren't really sure what if any charges can be brought forward. That in mind I am considering this case dismissed on basis of improperly filed paperwork... was the jist of the conversation.
I appropriately thank him for his time and back to work I go. Feeling not only relieved that the whole thing is over, but also satisfied that where I though no good deed would go unpunished; sure the non-sense to get to the end could be considered punishment, in the end I was able to show someone that I had done what was right by that creature and I didn't deserve to be penalized for that.
So back to the beginning, thank you Judge for serving justice today, even more so giving me a few more shreds of hope for humanity.
Oh and to my comment about my compilation of information, the judge did say that he read everything I sent, so I feel better about having taken the time.
After all the worst he could do was say no right?
Tuesday, August 9, 2016
Sometimes thumbprint is so on!
I've tried really hard over the past couple months to get better about taking care of myself, going to the gym included.
My only major issue is I am really bad at coming up with a good playlist of songs to keep me motivated. I also am not a fan of listening to the same thin over and over again.
This morning I have to give credit where it is due though, Pandora and my thumbprint station were FANTASTIC!!
I know I know if you actually hit like and thumbs up or what ever then eventually it builds a descent profile of songs to pull from. But the thumbprint idea seems to be more based on the collaboration between lists, which thus far today has worked out amazing.
"For those who haven’t yet added their station, here’s an overview of what you will experience. (If you haven’t, click here to get yours now.) This is not just your thumbs up on shuffle. While you rediscover all of your favorites (songs you thumbed up 10 minutes to 10 years ago) we will continue to add in new songs that we think you will love. Simply tune in and listen up – our musicologists have made sure you will be guided seamlessly through all of the genres you have thumbed up, no matter how varied they are."
Is what Pandora's blog has to say about the idea.
I guess this is just a quick comment to the fact that for me it has all worked out and I got to start my walk leading to 1 mile run with I Want Crazy by Hunter Hayes, pumped up mid run by Hey Girl by Billy Currington, little cool down with I Hold on and Dierks Bently, And it just kep keeing me moving, it was great. Even got a full 2K row in and the last 250m was with Feeling Good by Michael Buble. Finished out the morning with some leg pressing and Jar of Hearts with Christina Perri and streched with The Aviators composed by Helen Jane Long.
I know kind of all over the map but it really worked out nicely.
So just my two cents for the morning, give your thumbprint station a try, see if it motivates you as much as mine did this morning.
Other wise enjoy your work out, enjoy your day, I'm off to do other adulty things for the day.
My only major issue is I am really bad at coming up with a good playlist of songs to keep me motivated. I also am not a fan of listening to the same thin over and over again.
This morning I have to give credit where it is due though, Pandora and my thumbprint station were FANTASTIC!!
I know I know if you actually hit like and thumbs up or what ever then eventually it builds a descent profile of songs to pull from. But the thumbprint idea seems to be more based on the collaboration between lists, which thus far today has worked out amazing.
"For those who haven’t yet added their station, here’s an overview of what you will experience. (If you haven’t, click here to get yours now.) This is not just your thumbs up on shuffle. While you rediscover all of your favorites (songs you thumbed up 10 minutes to 10 years ago) we will continue to add in new songs that we think you will love. Simply tune in and listen up – our musicologists have made sure you will be guided seamlessly through all of the genres you have thumbed up, no matter how varied they are."
Is what Pandora's blog has to say about the idea.
I guess this is just a quick comment to the fact that for me it has all worked out and I got to start my walk leading to 1 mile run with I Want Crazy by Hunter Hayes, pumped up mid run by Hey Girl by Billy Currington, little cool down with I Hold on and Dierks Bently, And it just kep keeing me moving, it was great. Even got a full 2K row in and the last 250m was with Feeling Good by Michael Buble. Finished out the morning with some leg pressing and Jar of Hearts with Christina Perri and streched with The Aviators composed by Helen Jane Long.
I know kind of all over the map but it really worked out nicely.
So just my two cents for the morning, give your thumbprint station a try, see if it motivates you as much as mine did this morning.
Other wise enjoy your work out, enjoy your day, I'm off to do other adulty things for the day.
Friday, August 5, 2016
Lack of feeling
I have a problem... my capacity for empathy sucks the big one, when it comes to my kids, but I don't see it as an issue...
Of course immediately that sounds really terrible and like I don't care about their feelings, or understand them as kids. All of which is un-true. However I really suck at believing them when they claim to be sick, mainly because I'm good at recognizing when there is true illness vs a passing thing or them making something up to get attention. More so I think it's not that I truly don't believe them, but I don't know how to make them feel better without also feeling like I am catering to excessive over sensitivity that our society has allowed in recent years.
For example, my kids fall on the playground;
"you're fine just brush it off and keep going"
-in this circumstance usually no big deal
- every once in a while there is a parent that notices and does the forsaken "Oh my goodness are you OK sweetie??" followed by crocodile tears and blabbering etc.
- I have no tolerance for that non-sense. I remember when I was 6 my parents got me a two wheel bike and I was doing ok until I fell and didn't scrape my knee or bump my elbow, I fell flat on my back and got the wind knocked out of me. I then chose not to try to ride said bike for a while but otherwise it was deemed I wasn't dead or dying and I could move on.
I mean seriously how am I supposed to teach my kids that you will fall and you will get hurt if every time they get a "boo boo" it turns into the freaking opera of wailing and coddling.
Example number two;
We have determined that my daughter has my stomach, not a good thing for her. So if she eats too much, get overheated and less than adequately hydrated, vomit happens. I'm ok with it, I get it. Something are better out than in.
-5th grade I had eaten two huge pieces of school lunch pizza, as well as getting one of those super awesome chocolate milk bags where it was really two bags stuck together because they didn't get split properly in production. I ate and drank it all; it was also hot.
-vomit in the water fountain in the hallway;
kudos to myself by the way for not making a mess all over the floor, and then I was fine.
Of course the nurse wanted to send me home and I was trying my damnedest to convince them I was fine, eventually I won and was able to finish out the day.
Now it's go home and don't come back for 24 hours.
Yesterday little miss was a shining example of this issue.
She hadn't had enough water while she was at camp for the day and so indigestion was making her nauseous. She came home and had something to eat, hoping if we could get a little something and some water in her we could keep things moving in the right direction.
-it backfired, literally
But for the remainder of the night she seemed ok, other than the occasional complain that she was still uncomfortable.
This morning everything seemed fine, she even said she felt better, ate breakfast and was excited to go on the field trip to the state park. So off we all go to our respective daytime places.
I work about 30 miles from home, am making the last of three turns before getting to the office and the phone rings... it's camp, she tossed it about 5 minutes ago and camp policy is she has to go home.
Ok fine I've tried explaining to people before that she has an 'interesting' stomach but to no avail.
Downside, I am about an hour from being able to get to her and her dad is stuck at work still as well.
Yay, grandma to the rescue!!
Downside, I feel like I should go get her, that there might actually be something going on, make arrangements to be able to get out of work to go get her, I get there and then I have crying child because I picked her up from being able to hang out with grandma...
Now normally my theory of ok it's no big deal she'll be fine would have paid off. I would have left her with grandma and been able to finish my day at work, realistically everything would have worked out.
But I keep getting reminded that my lack of understanding when the kids are sick is such a short coming that I feel obligated to go get her and check on her, make sure there isn't some sort of actual bug going on for her, there isn't a bigger issue.
Epic fail...
So now I am left pondering is my lack of feeling really a problem? Was is just appropriate this time? How do I help others to understand when it's ok to panic and when??? I know my kids and I know they aren't really sick.
Ugh ok, I guess that this was more of a rant to try to make myself feel better about not being the first one to jump when a kid says so. I don't think it worked, I mostly just feel like I'm glad that she is getting some likely much need rest on the couch next to me while I try to meddle through the chaos that is my mom brain at the moment...
Of course immediately that sounds really terrible and like I don't care about their feelings, or understand them as kids. All of which is un-true. However I really suck at believing them when they claim to be sick, mainly because I'm good at recognizing when there is true illness vs a passing thing or them making something up to get attention. More so I think it's not that I truly don't believe them, but I don't know how to make them feel better without also feeling like I am catering to excessive over sensitivity that our society has allowed in recent years.
For example, my kids fall on the playground;
"you're fine just brush it off and keep going"
-in this circumstance usually no big deal
- every once in a while there is a parent that notices and does the forsaken "Oh my goodness are you OK sweetie??" followed by crocodile tears and blabbering etc.
- I have no tolerance for that non-sense. I remember when I was 6 my parents got me a two wheel bike and I was doing ok until I fell and didn't scrape my knee or bump my elbow, I fell flat on my back and got the wind knocked out of me. I then chose not to try to ride said bike for a while but otherwise it was deemed I wasn't dead or dying and I could move on.
I mean seriously how am I supposed to teach my kids that you will fall and you will get hurt if every time they get a "boo boo" it turns into the freaking opera of wailing and coddling.
Example number two;
We have determined that my daughter has my stomach, not a good thing for her. So if she eats too much, get overheated and less than adequately hydrated, vomit happens. I'm ok with it, I get it. Something are better out than in.
-5th grade I had eaten two huge pieces of school lunch pizza, as well as getting one of those super awesome chocolate milk bags where it was really two bags stuck together because they didn't get split properly in production. I ate and drank it all; it was also hot.
-vomit in the water fountain in the hallway;
kudos to myself by the way for not making a mess all over the floor, and then I was fine.
Of course the nurse wanted to send me home and I was trying my damnedest to convince them I was fine, eventually I won and was able to finish out the day.
Now it's go home and don't come back for 24 hours.
Yesterday little miss was a shining example of this issue.
She hadn't had enough water while she was at camp for the day and so indigestion was making her nauseous. She came home and had something to eat, hoping if we could get a little something and some water in her we could keep things moving in the right direction.
-it backfired, literally
But for the remainder of the night she seemed ok, other than the occasional complain that she was still uncomfortable.
This morning everything seemed fine, she even said she felt better, ate breakfast and was excited to go on the field trip to the state park. So off we all go to our respective daytime places.
I work about 30 miles from home, am making the last of three turns before getting to the office and the phone rings... it's camp, she tossed it about 5 minutes ago and camp policy is she has to go home.
Ok fine I've tried explaining to people before that she has an 'interesting' stomach but to no avail.
Downside, I am about an hour from being able to get to her and her dad is stuck at work still as well.
Yay, grandma to the rescue!!
Downside, I feel like I should go get her, that there might actually be something going on, make arrangements to be able to get out of work to go get her, I get there and then I have crying child because I picked her up from being able to hang out with grandma...
Now normally my theory of ok it's no big deal she'll be fine would have paid off. I would have left her with grandma and been able to finish my day at work, realistically everything would have worked out.
But I keep getting reminded that my lack of understanding when the kids are sick is such a short coming that I feel obligated to go get her and check on her, make sure there isn't some sort of actual bug going on for her, there isn't a bigger issue.
Epic fail...
So now I am left pondering is my lack of feeling really a problem? Was is just appropriate this time? How do I help others to understand when it's ok to panic and when??? I know my kids and I know they aren't really sick.
Ugh ok, I guess that this was more of a rant to try to make myself feel better about not being the first one to jump when a kid says so. I don't think it worked, I mostly just feel like I'm glad that she is getting some likely much need rest on the couch next to me while I try to meddle through the chaos that is my mom brain at the moment...
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
Can I have it now?
Just wondering if anyone out there is willing to hand over their winning lottery ticket?
I mean I could really use it about now.
Between the desire to have bills paid, a vacation, needed repairs on cars, and oh yea the fact that I want to escape all you crazy people who can't stop with the Presidential election!!! I'm ready to run away to my own private island now.
I'll figure out farming, and harvesting my own meat, screw it I'll even learn how to card and spin and weave if it makes it so I don't have to listen to any more of the crazy.
There was a poll on the radio this morning about what people like to listen to, whether or not specifically they wanted the station to keep up on the political current events. It was a solid 50/50 as to whether or not people wanted to to hear about any of it.
One of the most alarming comments though was one guy who commented "yes you need to keep up because we need to talk to each other and share the truth of the matters"
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!!!!
There is no source of news out there, especially one that a local country music, yes I like country, station is going to pull from to give unbiased information.
PLEASE people, PLEASE, don't depend on the news or the radio to give you all you need to know about news, political or otherwise. Read a newspaper, find, compare, contrast information for your self. I know it can be time consuming but fortunately; as several officials have found out inadvertently and/or to their dismay, when you run for public offices, you give the public full right to your past, present, and what you think you might do with your future.
Not to say that I inherently believe in this concept. I do believe you can do things in your personal life that should have no connection to your personal life. On the other hand illegal is illegal, really nothing grey about that, so if it can get you arrested, don't do it.
But all in the same, shame on us for advocating that you need to have some sort of legal background to be able to get into politics.
So I have gone through and found a few options I genuinely believe are reasonable sources of legitimate information that you can read as you will, and then seriously contemplate when you are going to escape to your own private island.
I am by no means perfect in what I do and probably shouldn't be sitting here on my high horse saying these politicians are all in fact demons for the lying underworld, but ... well... I mean most attorneys get paid to lie and not get caught right?
Oh and those resources I told you about. Educate yourself, know what and where and why, and who. It will serve you, even though it make cause you to go insane to hear all the nonsense shared daily...
http://presidential-candidates.insidegov.com/
-This will tell you who all is running and withdrawn
http://www.ontheissues.org/default.htm
-Interesting site. Has quite the wealth of information but what I found most interesting was the extensive listings regarding voting past. How did the candidates vote on issues to which they were privy. There are a bunch of quotes too but they are so removed from context I wouldn't go there.
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2016/us/elections/election-2016.html
-The NY times has a bit of history as having a Liberal bias but on the plus side if you look through the Election 2016 segments there are a lot of helpful bits to those who don't remember 9th grade history and how your vote really does, or doesn't, count when it comes to who will win the race.
http://www.wsj.com/news/politics
-Now you can cross over to a slightly more conservative view, again solid information though. Downside is only a selection of the articles are open to read, otherwise you have to pay for a subscription, or find your dad's copy from last week to read.
-http://www.chicagotribune.com/
Even though I said I would only post things I knew something about I suppose I have to share a moderate option as well. The Tribune is supposed to have solid voice from both directions on a regular basis but I've personally never read more than in passing so I couldn't say.
I mean I could really use it about now.
Between the desire to have bills paid, a vacation, needed repairs on cars, and oh yea the fact that I want to escape all you crazy people who can't stop with the Presidential election!!! I'm ready to run away to my own private island now.
I'll figure out farming, and harvesting my own meat, screw it I'll even learn how to card and spin and weave if it makes it so I don't have to listen to any more of the crazy.
There was a poll on the radio this morning about what people like to listen to, whether or not specifically they wanted the station to keep up on the political current events. It was a solid 50/50 as to whether or not people wanted to to hear about any of it.
One of the most alarming comments though was one guy who commented "yes you need to keep up because we need to talk to each other and share the truth of the matters"
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!!!!
There is no source of news out there, especially one that a local country music, yes I like country, station is going to pull from to give unbiased information.
PLEASE people, PLEASE, don't depend on the news or the radio to give you all you need to know about news, political or otherwise. Read a newspaper, find, compare, contrast information for your self. I know it can be time consuming but fortunately; as several officials have found out inadvertently and/or to their dismay, when you run for public offices, you give the public full right to your past, present, and what you think you might do with your future.
Not to say that I inherently believe in this concept. I do believe you can do things in your personal life that should have no connection to your personal life. On the other hand illegal is illegal, really nothing grey about that, so if it can get you arrested, don't do it.
But all in the same, shame on us for advocating that you need to have some sort of legal background to be able to get into politics.
So I have gone through and found a few options I genuinely believe are reasonable sources of legitimate information that you can read as you will, and then seriously contemplate when you are going to escape to your own private island.
I am by no means perfect in what I do and probably shouldn't be sitting here on my high horse saying these politicians are all in fact demons for the lying underworld, but ... well... I mean most attorneys get paid to lie and not get caught right?
Oh and those resources I told you about. Educate yourself, know what and where and why, and who. It will serve you, even though it make cause you to go insane to hear all the nonsense shared daily...
http://presidential-candidates.insidegov.com/
-This will tell you who all is running and withdrawn
http://www.ontheissues.org/default.htm
-Interesting site. Has quite the wealth of information but what I found most interesting was the extensive listings regarding voting past. How did the candidates vote on issues to which they were privy. There are a bunch of quotes too but they are so removed from context I wouldn't go there.
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2016/us/elections/election-2016.html
-The NY times has a bit of history as having a Liberal bias but on the plus side if you look through the Election 2016 segments there are a lot of helpful bits to those who don't remember 9th grade history and how your vote really does, or doesn't, count when it comes to who will win the race.
http://www.wsj.com/news/politics
-Now you can cross over to a slightly more conservative view, again solid information though. Downside is only a selection of the articles are open to read, otherwise you have to pay for a subscription, or find your dad's copy from last week to read.
-http://www.chicagotribune.com/
Even though I said I would only post things I knew something about I suppose I have to share a moderate option as well. The Tribune is supposed to have solid voice from both directions on a regular basis but I've personally never read more than in passing so I couldn't say.
Saturday, July 23, 2016
The joys of reading
I sat perusing through Facebook and the variety of mom pages I belong to and have to say how pleasantly surprised I was at what I found.
The topic of the day seems to be the idea that we all want a break at some point. From work, home, school, the kids, each other. We all want to be able to take a few moments now and then, think with our own six, ok maybe ten, brain cells. Have a thought that isn't interrupted by "mom he..." or "stop it!! i said stop!!" etc. But that can be a strong luxury that few are afforded at times.
But it made me stop and think. Why is it that we all feel so guilty about needing time for ourselves? I see so many memes and things about how you give up thinking about yourself when you have kids and all the moms who say they aren't allowed to do anything because they kids have too many activities, etc. But I remember when I was younger, my mom had her own things. She went on long weekend trips, usually twice a year and she and all her girlfriends would rent a cabin and do god only knows what and enjoy being child and family free. My dad would get up and go to the gym to play basket ball, or he would go for a late night swim in the pool, adults only. Why is it that we have contorted ourselves as a society to believe that if you aren't with your kids 24/7 then you're the worst?
I had volley ball practice and Girl Scout meetings and rehearsals for choir. And I did those things sans my parents. I had dance lessons when I was young and my mom would drop me off and go back home some days, others she would stay.
Now though, the thought of leaving my kids at a sports practice or lessons of one variety or another sounds abhorrent to most people. But why? What is wrong with them learning the idea that they are there to listen and do as they're told by another adult, and that I'm not there watching their every step. I don't want to be a helicopter parent, never have, never do. I think it's totally normal for my kids to go out and play, to walk up the street and see if Jimmy wants to come over. Why do I have to text his mom?
And as far as that allowing for personal time, well it may, it may not. Personally my husband and I both have kind of an unspoken agreement that when I get to that point, he can see the vein pulsing in my head and my fingers are twitching, then he corals the beasts and gets them out of my hair for an hour or so. Or if I just know that I need to space for a minute then I go off to do my own thing, leaving all to fend for themselves. Of course if there are blood curdling screams I'm on my way, you just can't turn that instinct off. But otherwise if I'm on the couch reading my book, or watching a show on the tablet, and if they want to stand there at the kitchen table yelling at each other about who gets to use the green bowl... well... duke it out mine offspring, go forth and conquer!
Or ask dad because for the next 30min I don't exist.
And it's all reciprocated. Yes we have our moments too, where other stressors in life start to get in the way and wreak havoc. Turn me into the wicked with of the west who will be happy to set you ablaze if you sneeze funny. But there again, we're pretty good at recognizing and saying you know what, if that were me I would love if someone would help get rid of a few tasks on my plate. But there again it comes back to those funny things we learned as kids but I feel like is passed on to so few these days, 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you' or 'treat others as you would like to be treated'.
Fortunately the mom blogs all made good comment to this idea and the fact that while having kids may be ridiculously stressful at times, we have to look out for each other as people as well as as parents. We have to make sure to give each other that time to sit back and think our own thoughts. SO just remember when you're sitting there on the couch ready to rip all you hair out, that your spouse may feel the same right now, or may have felt that way an hour ago, so either ask for help, or get up and do something about it. It'll all come out in the wash eventually.
Oh and personal note, if you're by yourself, there is nothing wrong with telling the children they can play and scream all they want as long as they are on a different floor of the house than you are, or at least in a different room.
The topic of the day seems to be the idea that we all want a break at some point. From work, home, school, the kids, each other. We all want to be able to take a few moments now and then, think with our own six, ok maybe ten, brain cells. Have a thought that isn't interrupted by "mom he..." or "stop it!! i said stop!!" etc. But that can be a strong luxury that few are afforded at times.
But it made me stop and think. Why is it that we all feel so guilty about needing time for ourselves? I see so many memes and things about how you give up thinking about yourself when you have kids and all the moms who say they aren't allowed to do anything because they kids have too many activities, etc. But I remember when I was younger, my mom had her own things. She went on long weekend trips, usually twice a year and she and all her girlfriends would rent a cabin and do god only knows what and enjoy being child and family free. My dad would get up and go to the gym to play basket ball, or he would go for a late night swim in the pool, adults only. Why is it that we have contorted ourselves as a society to believe that if you aren't with your kids 24/7 then you're the worst?
I had volley ball practice and Girl Scout meetings and rehearsals for choir. And I did those things sans my parents. I had dance lessons when I was young and my mom would drop me off and go back home some days, others she would stay.
Now though, the thought of leaving my kids at a sports practice or lessons of one variety or another sounds abhorrent to most people. But why? What is wrong with them learning the idea that they are there to listen and do as they're told by another adult, and that I'm not there watching their every step. I don't want to be a helicopter parent, never have, never do. I think it's totally normal for my kids to go out and play, to walk up the street and see if Jimmy wants to come over. Why do I have to text his mom?
And as far as that allowing for personal time, well it may, it may not. Personally my husband and I both have kind of an unspoken agreement that when I get to that point, he can see the vein pulsing in my head and my fingers are twitching, then he corals the beasts and gets them out of my hair for an hour or so. Or if I just know that I need to space for a minute then I go off to do my own thing, leaving all to fend for themselves. Of course if there are blood curdling screams I'm on my way, you just can't turn that instinct off. But otherwise if I'm on the couch reading my book, or watching a show on the tablet, and if they want to stand there at the kitchen table yelling at each other about who gets to use the green bowl... well... duke it out mine offspring, go forth and conquer!
Or ask dad because for the next 30min I don't exist.
And it's all reciprocated. Yes we have our moments too, where other stressors in life start to get in the way and wreak havoc. Turn me into the wicked with of the west who will be happy to set you ablaze if you sneeze funny. But there again, we're pretty good at recognizing and saying you know what, if that were me I would love if someone would help get rid of a few tasks on my plate. But there again it comes back to those funny things we learned as kids but I feel like is passed on to so few these days, 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you' or 'treat others as you would like to be treated'.
Fortunately the mom blogs all made good comment to this idea and the fact that while having kids may be ridiculously stressful at times, we have to look out for each other as people as well as as parents. We have to make sure to give each other that time to sit back and think our own thoughts. SO just remember when you're sitting there on the couch ready to rip all you hair out, that your spouse may feel the same right now, or may have felt that way an hour ago, so either ask for help, or get up and do something about it. It'll all come out in the wash eventually.
Oh and personal note, if you're by yourself, there is nothing wrong with telling the children they can play and scream all they want as long as they are on a different floor of the house than you are, or at least in a different room.
Tuesday, July 19, 2016
Take a freaking chill pill
So I just had to share, mainly because I just couldn't stop laughing about the incident my entire way to work this morning.
I'm driving in to work this morning and noticed when I dropped the kids off at respective preschool and summer camp activities, that I was in need of some air in a front tire.
Now had I been good and when I first had the tires replaced, two years ago, and noticed that I was having to routinely put air in a tire, then I would have taken the car back to the installer to have them checked. But I was busy, and lazy and just didn't. So instead I am actually pretty mindful of every time I get gas, I get air. Honestly I really don't mind but that's neither here nor there...
So this morning I pull into Sheetz, this happens to be a newer facility that has at least 15 different pumps, quite the set up really, and is also on a major thoroughfare in the area so very common to see some of the bigger trucks as they mosey on toward the parkway/turnpike/ etc. This morning there was what appeared to be a collection, convoy if you will, of 30+ foot long box trucks all making a stop for various goods and services. One of said trucks happened to have pulled up to a pump which left a great deal of his box hanging back from the overhang, in reality generally impeding traffic trying to come in our out of the right side of entry way to the business.
I pull in and see said truck and say to myself 'ok well if I can't go over it and I can't go under it, going to have to go around.' reasonable concept right? Well apparently not so much for the guy on the other side of said truck.
When I say he was having an adult temper tantrum, consider that an understatement. This guy is standing at the door of his car, belligerent, cursing, and all around obnoxious screaming about the fact that this truck driver is such a 'POS' because his truck is blocking the driveway. Now while I won't disagree that his parking could have left something to be desired, he didn't really have a great deal of other choices. And regardless, the 'special snowflake' that insisted on standing there screaming like a fool was really the one being 100% more disruptive. After all really how hard was it for me to drive around the other side of the pumps to get to the air compressor next to where said fool was screaming... not hard at all, just move forward, turn a little to come around from another angle, and voila! Parked and ready to put air in said tires. He very easily could have backed up, gone around and been on about his way, but no had to stand there and make a scene.
I don't know, maybe I'm over thinking it all at this point but I really just felt like it was outrageous that someone expend such energy at 6:45am upon another person, just because they couldn't find reverse. Or maybe it was the end of his day and he was just trying to get home. But either way, why bother.
I guess to circle all back, though I don't know that I really started this particular post with any overwhelming intention, just chill out. I mean not to be cliche but, stop and smell the roses. There is just so little that is really worth getting that worked up over. Will screaming at the truck that is just trying to get gas like you did 5 minuets ago going to help you to get to work any faster? Is screaming at another human being going to make you feel better about being inconvenienced? If it does, ok, what ever, you do you.
For now I'm going to go back to one of the other 500 thoughts I have a day and why they may or may not be worth sharing with the general public. Oh and taking my chill pill in my back yard with my feet in the pool, burgers on the grill and a book.
I'm driving in to work this morning and noticed when I dropped the kids off at respective preschool and summer camp activities, that I was in need of some air in a front tire.
Now had I been good and when I first had the tires replaced, two years ago, and noticed that I was having to routinely put air in a tire, then I would have taken the car back to the installer to have them checked. But I was busy, and lazy and just didn't. So instead I am actually pretty mindful of every time I get gas, I get air. Honestly I really don't mind but that's neither here nor there...
So this morning I pull into Sheetz, this happens to be a newer facility that has at least 15 different pumps, quite the set up really, and is also on a major thoroughfare in the area so very common to see some of the bigger trucks as they mosey on toward the parkway/turnpike/ etc. This morning there was what appeared to be a collection, convoy if you will, of 30+ foot long box trucks all making a stop for various goods and services. One of said trucks happened to have pulled up to a pump which left a great deal of his box hanging back from the overhang, in reality generally impeding traffic trying to come in our out of the right side of entry way to the business.
I pull in and see said truck and say to myself 'ok well if I can't go over it and I can't go under it, going to have to go around.' reasonable concept right? Well apparently not so much for the guy on the other side of said truck.
When I say he was having an adult temper tantrum, consider that an understatement. This guy is standing at the door of his car, belligerent, cursing, and all around obnoxious screaming about the fact that this truck driver is such a 'POS' because his truck is blocking the driveway. Now while I won't disagree that his parking could have left something to be desired, he didn't really have a great deal of other choices. And regardless, the 'special snowflake' that insisted on standing there screaming like a fool was really the one being 100% more disruptive. After all really how hard was it for me to drive around the other side of the pumps to get to the air compressor next to where said fool was screaming... not hard at all, just move forward, turn a little to come around from another angle, and voila! Parked and ready to put air in said tires. He very easily could have backed up, gone around and been on about his way, but no had to stand there and make a scene.
I don't know, maybe I'm over thinking it all at this point but I really just felt like it was outrageous that someone expend such energy at 6:45am upon another person, just because they couldn't find reverse. Or maybe it was the end of his day and he was just trying to get home. But either way, why bother.
I guess to circle all back, though I don't know that I really started this particular post with any overwhelming intention, just chill out. I mean not to be cliche but, stop and smell the roses. There is just so little that is really worth getting that worked up over. Will screaming at the truck that is just trying to get gas like you did 5 minuets ago going to help you to get to work any faster? Is screaming at another human being going to make you feel better about being inconvenienced? If it does, ok, what ever, you do you.
For now I'm going to go back to one of the other 500 thoughts I have a day and why they may or may not be worth sharing with the general public. Oh and taking my chill pill in my back yard with my feet in the pool, burgers on the grill and a book.
Monday, July 18, 2016
That guy or gal
Today I think I really get to be that guy. The one who is proud of his/her self for taking the time to write and think and then write some more.
I may also manage to meander my way to the gym, another activity which I may or may not find a sense of personal pride in. There may also be a component of personal obligation since I spent the majority of my weekend drinking fruit juice for adults only and eating pizza. Yup even ate said left over pizza from last night as breakfast/lunch today.
... ok so decided that I needed to actually make it to the gym, plus momentary writers block so to speak.
There are a lot of "things" that any one person can write about. What distinguishes is figuring out which of them is important or not. Similar to conversation. This topic is probably not of those in the aforementioned important category, but it's what I want to meddle in right this minute, so either read and be good with it or move on.
When I get up with my kids in the morning, I periodically have to remind myself that I really don't like getting up in the morning but that doesn't mean that I don't like getting up and getting the day going. I have to remind myself of this because I have a bad tendency to believe that I tell them once to get up and that means they should get up and muddle through their morning routine no different than I do. But they don't. I have to go in four or five times to remind them that they need to get up and get moving and get dressed and get swim stuff packed for camp, and before a cup of coffee it can be exhausting.
But then I get called on said behavior. Reminded that I have no sympathy for the morning hum drum, as I snooze my alarm at least 3 times before I actually wiggle my butt out of bed. And most importantly that I should ease up, come in and give them gentle sweet kisses, "Come on sweetie, it's time to get up now" in that awesome mom singsong voice you hear in cartoons and reality TV shows that are about as real as me fitting into a size 4 ever again... random rant I know but hold on with me for a second.
So now were are back to 5:45am and I have two kids to get up, dressed in either clothes or a bathing suit, two dogs to take out, feed, a lunch to be made for one kid, breakfast for both, and if the angels have been good to me that morning, get the Keurig to spit out a cup of coffee.
Waaa waa waa you say, just get up a little earlier, because my alarm going off at 5:15am isn't quite enough. Well here is what I say to you. Be the man/woman/child who has to get up and be responsible for getting the whole house up and moving, and still make it to work on time with all your expected cheer and chipper spewing, but not really, because you don't really want to be that guy who really seems like a morning person.
I guess my point of this whole bit, if you want to call it one, is as a person I can be horribly unsympathetic to the plight of others and their routines, or lack there of. That being said I make conscious effort to not judge on anything other than what is presented in front of me. If you want to judge me and tell me how I should function my day, well then don't be surprised when I reciprocate and give you pointers on how to function yours.
I don't like getting up and 5am, I know that, and for your sake my children, I will do my best to be in better control of the miserable wench that rolls out of bed most mornings. Maybe someday you will share in my frustrations and look back on your childhood and think 'wow what can I do to make it different?' Personally I have chosen to motivate you presently to the understanding that mommy has to get to work on time. Whether you want the sponge bob swim trunks, or not.
Sleep tight, and get your butt out of bed tomorrow, please and thank you.
I may also manage to meander my way to the gym, another activity which I may or may not find a sense of personal pride in. There may also be a component of personal obligation since I spent the majority of my weekend drinking fruit juice for adults only and eating pizza. Yup even ate said left over pizza from last night as breakfast/lunch today.
... ok so decided that I needed to actually make it to the gym, plus momentary writers block so to speak.
There are a lot of "things" that any one person can write about. What distinguishes is figuring out which of them is important or not. Similar to conversation. This topic is probably not of those in the aforementioned important category, but it's what I want to meddle in right this minute, so either read and be good with it or move on.
When I get up with my kids in the morning, I periodically have to remind myself that I really don't like getting up in the morning but that doesn't mean that I don't like getting up and getting the day going. I have to remind myself of this because I have a bad tendency to believe that I tell them once to get up and that means they should get up and muddle through their morning routine no different than I do. But they don't. I have to go in four or five times to remind them that they need to get up and get moving and get dressed and get swim stuff packed for camp, and before a cup of coffee it can be exhausting.
But then I get called on said behavior. Reminded that I have no sympathy for the morning hum drum, as I snooze my alarm at least 3 times before I actually wiggle my butt out of bed. And most importantly that I should ease up, come in and give them gentle sweet kisses, "Come on sweetie, it's time to get up now" in that awesome mom singsong voice you hear in cartoons and reality TV shows that are about as real as me fitting into a size 4 ever again... random rant I know but hold on with me for a second.
So now were are back to 5:45am and I have two kids to get up, dressed in either clothes or a bathing suit, two dogs to take out, feed, a lunch to be made for one kid, breakfast for both, and if the angels have been good to me that morning, get the Keurig to spit out a cup of coffee.
Waaa waa waa you say, just get up a little earlier, because my alarm going off at 5:15am isn't quite enough. Well here is what I say to you. Be the man/woman/child who has to get up and be responsible for getting the whole house up and moving, and still make it to work on time with all your expected cheer and chipper spewing, but not really, because you don't really want to be that guy who really seems like a morning person.
I guess my point of this whole bit, if you want to call it one, is as a person I can be horribly unsympathetic to the plight of others and their routines, or lack there of. That being said I make conscious effort to not judge on anything other than what is presented in front of me. If you want to judge me and tell me how I should function my day, well then don't be surprised when I reciprocate and give you pointers on how to function yours.
I don't like getting up and 5am, I know that, and for your sake my children, I will do my best to be in better control of the miserable wench that rolls out of bed most mornings. Maybe someday you will share in my frustrations and look back on your childhood and think 'wow what can I do to make it different?' Personally I have chosen to motivate you presently to the understanding that mommy has to get to work on time. Whether you want the sponge bob swim trunks, or not.
Sleep tight, and get your butt out of bed tomorrow, please and thank you.
Sunday, July 17, 2016
Contempt and contemplation
So if your were lucky enough to have been able to realize by the time you were 25 that there was a lot more to life than propagating the human race then I applaud you. However there are a number of us that were misinformed, and or stubborn enough to believe that we really knew what was going on in the world and that continuing our lives by continuing the species was the right thing to do at the time.
Some of us may have even had this insane belief that we had met the one human being of the opposite sex with whom we were supposed to spend the rest of our lives with.
On the other hand we may have just been naive sycophants looking for the next person in line to help us to believe we were special and had something to contribute to the world.
Now I am by no means one to sit here and label which group you belong to, or to say that you belong to either or some derivation there in. However, I do believe there are more or us that belong in these sub-classifications than we would like to admit.
Of course personality, past history, mental illness, perspective and desire all play a huge role not only in these classifications but in the one in which we would like to be a part, regardless of its title.
But at what point to we take a moment to realize that regardless our background we are in fact working toward a common goal?
I mean realistically regardless of your method we all want to survive, alcoholic, type A perfectionist, drug dealer, Wall street multi billionaire. We all just want to get to a point where we have food in our bellies and clothes on our backs and something other than a lightning storm to sleep under. Even those who can't figure out up from down still don't want to freeze to death in the winter or melt beyond recognition in the summer.
So here I am, taking a moment to appeal to all. I sometime find myself, the type A, trying to make it all perfect. Making sure my kids have the best possible house in the best possible neighborhood. Sometimes I can be the alcoholic, telling anyone and everyone to f**ck off and god only knows what else. Trying to drown what ever happens to be wrong with my life at that moment in the nectar of the demons in my soul.
I don't really ever feel as though I have fallen into the drug dealer type; unless you want to equate Velveeta and hot dogs to child crack and figuring out how it is that I can ration said food groups over the week to feel as though my kids have eaten, but that I haven't totally failed in providing them with something nutritious. Nor have I ever felt as though I can pretend to be the Wall Street billionaire; though again my kids would love that, it would definitely mean someone who can cook better than I.
But regardless we have all been in a situation which we may feel could have better, we may feel could have been worse. The only thing that couldn't have changed in that moment was the people around you.
As such I get back to the title and beg you to contemplate before you hold contempt.
I think a great deal about the things people around me say. I may not react immediately, I promise you I never will, I am my father's daughter to that regard. But I don't pass firm judgement lightly.
For right this minute I may be mad that you spent more time talking on the phone than with your family. But then an hour later I remember that the kids make me crazy so why the fu** do I want to sit here and talk to them? On the flip side I don't sit on the other side of the yard, totally disconnected, and then ask why...
None of that, by thew way, gives you right to make me feel like a rat cornered in the garage because I happened to say something off the tip of my tongue. And as much as I may need to control myself under times of duress, so do you.
I want no contempt, I only want contemplation. So please, before you think to pass any judgement on myself or others, think about with you want to hold that person in contempt, or whether you think it would be worth while to contemplate.
One is a final decision of frustration and anger.
The other a moment of clarity and thought that can lead to a greater outcome.
Help to be part of the movement forward rather than the stagnant frustration that is present societal standard.
Maybe too much, maybe not enough, but my thoughts none the less.
Some of us may have even had this insane belief that we had met the one human being of the opposite sex with whom we were supposed to spend the rest of our lives with.
On the other hand we may have just been naive sycophants looking for the next person in line to help us to believe we were special and had something to contribute to the world.
Now I am by no means one to sit here and label which group you belong to, or to say that you belong to either or some derivation there in. However, I do believe there are more or us that belong in these sub-classifications than we would like to admit.
Of course personality, past history, mental illness, perspective and desire all play a huge role not only in these classifications but in the one in which we would like to be a part, regardless of its title.
But at what point to we take a moment to realize that regardless our background we are in fact working toward a common goal?
I mean realistically regardless of your method we all want to survive, alcoholic, type A perfectionist, drug dealer, Wall street multi billionaire. We all just want to get to a point where we have food in our bellies and clothes on our backs and something other than a lightning storm to sleep under. Even those who can't figure out up from down still don't want to freeze to death in the winter or melt beyond recognition in the summer.
So here I am, taking a moment to appeal to all. I sometime find myself, the type A, trying to make it all perfect. Making sure my kids have the best possible house in the best possible neighborhood. Sometimes I can be the alcoholic, telling anyone and everyone to f**ck off and god only knows what else. Trying to drown what ever happens to be wrong with my life at that moment in the nectar of the demons in my soul.
I don't really ever feel as though I have fallen into the drug dealer type; unless you want to equate Velveeta and hot dogs to child crack and figuring out how it is that I can ration said food groups over the week to feel as though my kids have eaten, but that I haven't totally failed in providing them with something nutritious. Nor have I ever felt as though I can pretend to be the Wall Street billionaire; though again my kids would love that, it would definitely mean someone who can cook better than I.
But regardless we have all been in a situation which we may feel could have better, we may feel could have been worse. The only thing that couldn't have changed in that moment was the people around you.
As such I get back to the title and beg you to contemplate before you hold contempt.
I think a great deal about the things people around me say. I may not react immediately, I promise you I never will, I am my father's daughter to that regard. But I don't pass firm judgement lightly.
For right this minute I may be mad that you spent more time talking on the phone than with your family. But then an hour later I remember that the kids make me crazy so why the fu** do I want to sit here and talk to them? On the flip side I don't sit on the other side of the yard, totally disconnected, and then ask why...
None of that, by thew way, gives you right to make me feel like a rat cornered in the garage because I happened to say something off the tip of my tongue. And as much as I may need to control myself under times of duress, so do you.
I want no contempt, I only want contemplation. So please, before you think to pass any judgement on myself or others, think about with you want to hold that person in contempt, or whether you think it would be worth while to contemplate.
One is a final decision of frustration and anger.
The other a moment of clarity and thought that can lead to a greater outcome.
Help to be part of the movement forward rather than the stagnant frustration that is present societal standard.
Maybe too much, maybe not enough, but my thoughts none the less.
Saturday, July 16, 2016
To buy or not to, do I have a choice?
So I'm not going to lie, logging in to see 41 views is pretty cool. Not really sure who is choosing to read my silliness but I must extend my thanks.
For this evening I would like to direct your attention however, to the concept of the first time home buyer.
So a friend of my mom's is looking to sell their home, cute little place. Really not even fair for me to call is little though. It's a three bedroom on the better part of 2 acres of land. Has a detached garage and would be a great starter home for all intents and purposes.
My struggling moment though, is the corrupt economic enterprise I feel as though we as society have fallen into when it comes to home ownership. Now I am the first to admit I haven't always made the perfect choice when it comes to making sure that my financial future is well established. That being said, I have made some steps. I have 529 savings accounts for each of the kids. I made sure to buy a car when I was young and had the extra money to be dedicating to a car payment so no I don't have $400 I kiss goodbye every month just so I can travel independently. And I did what was necessary to establish a few different lines of credit to make sure that we had various lines reporting to help the actuary think we were truly adults who could keep our **it in a pile.
But oh wait hold on, let's add in real life, and a random major medical event, or in our case two, that incapacitated my husband from working. Oh and then remember that whole bit we talked about the other day with daycare, yup that gets added in here too along with just general life expenses. An dthat idea that it doesn't matter that I'm the one with $20000 in student loans, he has the better earning potential as a practical application person than I do. And please don't get it wrong, I'm and forever proud of my husband for the fact that he has figured out how to apply himself as a person to corporate enterprise in order to forge a strong career for himself. In fact in truth most days I'm jealous of how well he has done. But I also know I'm not him and never could have been successful in his cut throat a**hole kill or be killed type environment.
So here on the precipice of 30 I now find myself feeling as though I am doing the right thing financially to get college funding established for my kids, and I am working really hard to keep my paws out of the ever shadowed 'savings' account. Yet still the idea of being able to put aside $5000-$7000 for a down payment on a $1400000 house seems like the most daunting task.
Like for serious??!!! How could saving money seem so unbearable? I don't know maybe because I'm frivolous with a few of the things in my life that bring me some level of solace. Am I wrong as a mother because I like to be able to sit here in my back yard and talk to whomever it is that is willing to listen, while my kids pretend to build forts from sticks and the chicken that I bought with a BOGO sale is cooking on the grill? Really does trying to assimilate to public perception make me a bad person, a bad borrower? Do I have more debt than I should, absolutely. But I always pay my bills. And could I make more income to pay off those debts and bring my credit score to a place where major lending institutions aren't going to destroy my pocket with interest, definitely. But then when would I be able to live a life?
Ok yes I could live a life but I wouldn't be living my life. Or is that my price? Having the life I feel I work hard for versus having nothing other than four \bare walls and each other to stare at for hours a day in order to make sure that we are putting the $200 a month spent on power and cable is better saved.
Did you ever stop to think about the fact that we are the only species on the earth that lives to work and do something for others as a choice of own?
Dogs, they do what we want because we train them to do so. In return I feed them and I house them and keep them safe from various other evils of public life, mostly the warden and death.
Bears, they just wander about the woods, eat, drink, sleep. They are totally cool with doing wtf ever it is that they want to do that day. They want to pick a fight with a moose, ok cool, they want to wade in the river and eat salmon until they have to food drunk meander to the shore, that's cool too.
Us however, the supposedly intelligent species on the surface of this planet, fight every day to "better ourselves". I get up and go to work in hopes of being able to have the money to be able to provide my children the life I feel they deserve.
And in return I will be scorned by one financial institution after another in my attempt to assemble something that appeals as a borrower profile so that I, a white girl with a husband, two kids and two dogs, currently renting a house in suburbia, might be able to figure out how to get a mortgage for said $140000 house without feeling as though I have handed over my soul... I feel like I am going to lose the battle. Let me just win the war...
Does it really all even make any sense though? Maybe it does to some, but to this momma it doesn't...
For this evening I would like to direct your attention however, to the concept of the first time home buyer.
So a friend of my mom's is looking to sell their home, cute little place. Really not even fair for me to call is little though. It's a three bedroom on the better part of 2 acres of land. Has a detached garage and would be a great starter home for all intents and purposes.
My struggling moment though, is the corrupt economic enterprise I feel as though we as society have fallen into when it comes to home ownership. Now I am the first to admit I haven't always made the perfect choice when it comes to making sure that my financial future is well established. That being said, I have made some steps. I have 529 savings accounts for each of the kids. I made sure to buy a car when I was young and had the extra money to be dedicating to a car payment so no I don't have $400 I kiss goodbye every month just so I can travel independently. And I did what was necessary to establish a few different lines of credit to make sure that we had various lines reporting to help the actuary think we were truly adults who could keep our **it in a pile.
But oh wait hold on, let's add in real life, and a random major medical event, or in our case two, that incapacitated my husband from working. Oh and then remember that whole bit we talked about the other day with daycare, yup that gets added in here too along with just general life expenses. An dthat idea that it doesn't matter that I'm the one with $20000 in student loans, he has the better earning potential as a practical application person than I do. And please don't get it wrong, I'm and forever proud of my husband for the fact that he has figured out how to apply himself as a person to corporate enterprise in order to forge a strong career for himself. In fact in truth most days I'm jealous of how well he has done. But I also know I'm not him and never could have been successful in his cut throat a**hole kill or be killed type environment.
So here on the precipice of 30 I now find myself feeling as though I am doing the right thing financially to get college funding established for my kids, and I am working really hard to keep my paws out of the ever shadowed 'savings' account. Yet still the idea of being able to put aside $5000-$7000 for a down payment on a $1400000 house seems like the most daunting task.
Like for serious??!!! How could saving money seem so unbearable? I don't know maybe because I'm frivolous with a few of the things in my life that bring me some level of solace. Am I wrong as a mother because I like to be able to sit here in my back yard and talk to whomever it is that is willing to listen, while my kids pretend to build forts from sticks and the chicken that I bought with a BOGO sale is cooking on the grill? Really does trying to assimilate to public perception make me a bad person, a bad borrower? Do I have more debt than I should, absolutely. But I always pay my bills. And could I make more income to pay off those debts and bring my credit score to a place where major lending institutions aren't going to destroy my pocket with interest, definitely. But then when would I be able to live a life?
Ok yes I could live a life but I wouldn't be living my life. Or is that my price? Having the life I feel I work hard for versus having nothing other than four \bare walls and each other to stare at for hours a day in order to make sure that we are putting the $200 a month spent on power and cable is better saved.
Did you ever stop to think about the fact that we are the only species on the earth that lives to work and do something for others as a choice of own?
Dogs, they do what we want because we train them to do so. In return I feed them and I house them and keep them safe from various other evils of public life, mostly the warden and death.
Bears, they just wander about the woods, eat, drink, sleep. They are totally cool with doing wtf ever it is that they want to do that day. They want to pick a fight with a moose, ok cool, they want to wade in the river and eat salmon until they have to food drunk meander to the shore, that's cool too.
Us however, the supposedly intelligent species on the surface of this planet, fight every day to "better ourselves". I get up and go to work in hopes of being able to have the money to be able to provide my children the life I feel they deserve.
And in return I will be scorned by one financial institution after another in my attempt to assemble something that appeals as a borrower profile so that I, a white girl with a husband, two kids and two dogs, currently renting a house in suburbia, might be able to figure out how to get a mortgage for said $140000 house without feeling as though I have handed over my soul... I feel like I am going to lose the battle. Let me just win the war...
Does it really all even make any sense though? Maybe it does to some, but to this momma it doesn't...
Thursday, July 14, 2016
The working mom
So lots of people talk all the time about working and the struggles of doing so while having children. But one of the things that I don't think I've heard anyone talk about is the benefits of working as a mom, both to mom and the children.
Now I will totally admit that with child care, especially in the summer when school is out nearing $1500 a month it can be hard to sit and commune with the idea that a majority if not near all of a parent's pay can go to child care expenses in a given month. But on the flip side of that I was thinking this morning about the true service being in camp and in preschool really is to my kids.
In our house, for example I could certainly make do without child care, maybe as much as 3 days a week. Between my scheduled day off from work; I work the occasional weekend day as well as generally we end up on something closer to a 410 schedule, and then being able to lean on my parents potentially one day a week if I had to and then dad could probably contribute to the cause and give up on day a week. However, first of all finding a school age summer program that runs all day 6:30 am to 6pm, but you only have to pay for the days you attend, impossible. Second finding a preschool program, save for in a house by a private individual, that again you only have to pay for the days you attend, while not impossible is getting more and more difficult. The school we used to take him to, even if I did do part-time, is was silly to be paying for three days a week but only actually being able to use two of them; that was how their pricing broke down. Plus if there was ever a shift to the schedule for some reason I was SOL, I was only allowed to bring him in on our contracted days. So why not just cover my butt and make sure I have coverage all five days?
Now aside from the monetary battle that is child care; ps did you know that on average a parent who has their child in full time care from 8 weeks through to school age, so generally 5 years, 6 for those who choose to wait on Kindergarten, spend 50K... Seriously... more than my parents put toward my college education.
But really back to the plus side, so my son is a very active little man, he get's into all kinds of trouble on his own. For example, recently we have discovered that he likes to go to the bathroom in inappropriate places, or there is the fact that he still can't seem to grasp the concept of 'mom said don't touch that'. Additionally he likes to talk... a lot... a lot... yes I know he's four and he needs to tell me his life story of a daily basis but guess what kid, I was there, I saw it, I know what happened, and trying to tell me how you put your shoes on 3 minutes ago while I'm trying to finish getting your sister's lunch packed, the dogs outside and fed, and then making sure swim bags are ready for the day... well it's not my idea of fun right this second. So he needs people to talk to. Other four year olds happen to be a beautiful solution to this conundrum for him. They can tell each other for hours about the blue string they found in the green doll's hair three days ago for hours on end.
The other thing school is helping him with is understanding that he has to be aware of himself, and personal space can be important to people. It's one thing when he wants to climb all over mom and dad at home but I can only convey to him so many times that I really don't need his foot in my ribs any longer. We spent 6 months like that, I'm good.
Schedule and structure and social skills for him all all of the wonderful reasons I only cringe a little when I see the charges to my bank account once a month for $715 for his pre-school program. He needs it, dad needs it, I need it, and best of all it's good for him. Now he won't go into kindergarten where one poor sap will have 20 5 year olds to wrangle all alone and be that kids who either screams all day long because he's never been left alone, or the one who doesn't listen to a sound that comes out of said sap's mouth because he's never been taught to respect the authority of adults other than family. And yes I know there are lots of variations there in but those are the two I really didn't want my kid to be.
Now my daughter on the other hand, she enjoyed all these beautiful benefits of full time care provided by some alternatively structured system, i/e. not home with mom, since she was about 3 months old. She excelled from a leadership perspective, she is willing to talk to just about anyone, and also tell them her life story, and she understands that she can't always be where she wants to be when she wants to be there. It's about once a week that I get the "But I hate camp and I don't have any friends there and the counselor is mean, why can't I just stay home with daddy?"
"Because daddy works overnight so he needs to sleep during the day."
"But I can be quiet and not bother him"
Now granted she is exceptionally self sufficient, and at 8 I expect her to be able to tackle 90% of her day to day function on her own. However, being quiet and not bother daddy means plunking in front of the TV watching the same episodes of dragon riders that she has already watched at least 4 times, I know I've heard them at least twice in the past week, and then eating what ever junk she can get her hands on and then rapidly dispose of the evidence in the garbage.
So long story short, she needs camp just as much as he needs school, as much as she needs school during the academic year, and thus will not being staying home to melt into the couch with the dogs and dad.
Social places are great for kids and in a rapidly evolving world where we are, to an extent actually de-evolving socially; living on Facebook and Instagram, Pintrest, not actually talking to people or doing activities, I find it fundamentally necessary and socially constructive that both my kids are in some sort of organized daily care.
Plus then dad and I both get to be able to fill our day/night with a task we enjoy, because well if truth be told, I happen to really like my job.
Now I will totally admit that with child care, especially in the summer when school is out nearing $1500 a month it can be hard to sit and commune with the idea that a majority if not near all of a parent's pay can go to child care expenses in a given month. But on the flip side of that I was thinking this morning about the true service being in camp and in preschool really is to my kids.
In our house, for example I could certainly make do without child care, maybe as much as 3 days a week. Between my scheduled day off from work; I work the occasional weekend day as well as generally we end up on something closer to a 410 schedule, and then being able to lean on my parents potentially one day a week if I had to and then dad could probably contribute to the cause and give up on day a week. However, first of all finding a school age summer program that runs all day 6:30 am to 6pm, but you only have to pay for the days you attend, impossible. Second finding a preschool program, save for in a house by a private individual, that again you only have to pay for the days you attend, while not impossible is getting more and more difficult. The school we used to take him to, even if I did do part-time, is was silly to be paying for three days a week but only actually being able to use two of them; that was how their pricing broke down. Plus if there was ever a shift to the schedule for some reason I was SOL, I was only allowed to bring him in on our contracted days. So why not just cover my butt and make sure I have coverage all five days?
Now aside from the monetary battle that is child care; ps did you know that on average a parent who has their child in full time care from 8 weeks through to school age, so generally 5 years, 6 for those who choose to wait on Kindergarten, spend 50K... Seriously... more than my parents put toward my college education.
But really back to the plus side, so my son is a very active little man, he get's into all kinds of trouble on his own. For example, recently we have discovered that he likes to go to the bathroom in inappropriate places, or there is the fact that he still can't seem to grasp the concept of 'mom said don't touch that'. Additionally he likes to talk... a lot... a lot... yes I know he's four and he needs to tell me his life story of a daily basis but guess what kid, I was there, I saw it, I know what happened, and trying to tell me how you put your shoes on 3 minutes ago while I'm trying to finish getting your sister's lunch packed, the dogs outside and fed, and then making sure swim bags are ready for the day... well it's not my idea of fun right this second. So he needs people to talk to. Other four year olds happen to be a beautiful solution to this conundrum for him. They can tell each other for hours about the blue string they found in the green doll's hair three days ago for hours on end.
The other thing school is helping him with is understanding that he has to be aware of himself, and personal space can be important to people. It's one thing when he wants to climb all over mom and dad at home but I can only convey to him so many times that I really don't need his foot in my ribs any longer. We spent 6 months like that, I'm good.
Schedule and structure and social skills for him all all of the wonderful reasons I only cringe a little when I see the charges to my bank account once a month for $715 for his pre-school program. He needs it, dad needs it, I need it, and best of all it's good for him. Now he won't go into kindergarten where one poor sap will have 20 5 year olds to wrangle all alone and be that kids who either screams all day long because he's never been left alone, or the one who doesn't listen to a sound that comes out of said sap's mouth because he's never been taught to respect the authority of adults other than family. And yes I know there are lots of variations there in but those are the two I really didn't want my kid to be.
Now my daughter on the other hand, she enjoyed all these beautiful benefits of full time care provided by some alternatively structured system, i/e. not home with mom, since she was about 3 months old. She excelled from a leadership perspective, she is willing to talk to just about anyone, and also tell them her life story, and she understands that she can't always be where she wants to be when she wants to be there. It's about once a week that I get the "But I hate camp and I don't have any friends there and the counselor is mean, why can't I just stay home with daddy?"
"Because daddy works overnight so he needs to sleep during the day."
"But I can be quiet and not bother him"
Now granted she is exceptionally self sufficient, and at 8 I expect her to be able to tackle 90% of her day to day function on her own. However, being quiet and not bother daddy means plunking in front of the TV watching the same episodes of dragon riders that she has already watched at least 4 times, I know I've heard them at least twice in the past week, and then eating what ever junk she can get her hands on and then rapidly dispose of the evidence in the garbage.
So long story short, she needs camp just as much as he needs school, as much as she needs school during the academic year, and thus will not being staying home to melt into the couch with the dogs and dad.
Social places are great for kids and in a rapidly evolving world where we are, to an extent actually de-evolving socially; living on Facebook and Instagram, Pintrest, not actually talking to people or doing activities, I find it fundamentally necessary and socially constructive that both my kids are in some sort of organized daily care.
Plus then dad and I both get to be able to fill our day/night with a task we enjoy, because well if truth be told, I happen to really like my job.
Wednesday, July 13, 2016
Here we go again
Ok so after the kids were born, well more so after Tori I had started writing all kinds of things down. Mostly to get thoughts out of my head. Try to share some with family, etc. Well as things got busier that fell by the way side, as life so often does. But once again I am looking for solace in writing.
More specifically I have lots of thoughts that I would normally say 'you know I bet someone else could benefit from that thought.' others that I have to remind myself that Facebook isn't my personal rant space. And even more so that if I do go ranting on FB them I'l likely to get all kinds of crazy feedback. Or maybe I won't get any at all. Either way I don't want it to be seen as whining or blabbering to the general populous.
So instead I'l blabber here and if you want to read it, well then you will be reading it. If you don't, well to quote the boss, 'flarf you and the boat you road in on'.
I've always been someone who like to journal and then periodically driving around I have a tendency to have thoughts about things and think, wow I should write that down. I love to read a variety of mom blogs too and thought hey, I can keep my mom blogish thing and interject some of just me and the things I like to think about and do. My only request is if I happen to pick a topic you aren't a fan of to write about for the day, I openly welcome comments but please make sure if you are going to post something in particular that you fact check. I will be sure to do the same in return.
Ok well back to other important things for my day. Like trying to figure out what to feed the beasts when I get home... I generally tell them poison but I always get flack about that...
More specifically I have lots of thoughts that I would normally say 'you know I bet someone else could benefit from that thought.' others that I have to remind myself that Facebook isn't my personal rant space. And even more so that if I do go ranting on FB them I'l likely to get all kinds of crazy feedback. Or maybe I won't get any at all. Either way I don't want it to be seen as whining or blabbering to the general populous.
So instead I'l blabber here and if you want to read it, well then you will be reading it. If you don't, well to quote the boss, 'flarf you and the boat you road in on'.
I've always been someone who like to journal and then periodically driving around I have a tendency to have thoughts about things and think, wow I should write that down. I love to read a variety of mom blogs too and thought hey, I can keep my mom blogish thing and interject some of just me and the things I like to think about and do. My only request is if I happen to pick a topic you aren't a fan of to write about for the day, I openly welcome comments but please make sure if you are going to post something in particular that you fact check. I will be sure to do the same in return.
Ok well back to other important things for my day. Like trying to figure out what to feed the beasts when I get home... I generally tell them poison but I always get flack about that...
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